ergh these like pages are getting ridiculous, like seriously some of the things you all like make me want to reach out and slap your fucking wrist for pressing like, I never really saw the point in like pages when they first became popular but occasionally joined one but then one day I decided no fuck this, it’s getting out of hand people are liking like 50 pages per day, so i stopped and now you can like something even though its not on facebook :S its on some peasant website made specifically for liking things? which first off that just mindfucks me as I don’t know why you would ever make such a thing but secondly they are SOOOO FUCKING STUPID. like I’ve spent countless nights reading these out to Joe and all the boys on live (Get over it I love my xbox.) and they are just ridiculous! heres a sample of what some dumb cunts have decided reflects their personality and life experiences.
First “Dynamite” then “Firework” then “grenade” what’s next “nuclear bomb”? - that’s about as funny as my desk on acid, which considering it cannot intake substances would be a spectacularly boring thing to see. I mean really? first off a firework isn’t exactly in the same league as a grenade or stick of dynamite is it? so therefore I concur that no Nuclear bomb will not be next and that if you like this you have no semblance of humour.
Girl: hang out tonight? Boy: I cant I’m hanging out with someone else. Girl: who? Boy: the most beautiful, special amazing girl in the world girl: Oh 5 minutes later the doorbell rings Girl: why are you here? Boy: I told you I was coming over - okay first off the fucking group doesn’t make any sense at all because he says he can’t in the first place thus defeating the object of a corny reunion on her front doorstep. second off if you are a girl that finds this cute then march round the back of my garden and stand against my shed facing it with your hands cuffed behind you I will be out with armed with my firearm shortly.
Boy: make a C with your right hand Girl: okay *makes a C with her hand* Boy: *smiles and makes a C with his hand placing it next to hers* Girl: A heart? Boy: no my stomach and its empty, make me a sandwich - I just, I just don’t get why this is funny. I appreciate a sandwich joke as well as the next sexist joke loving male but that isn’t a joke. that’s an abomination and you should have been thrown in a bin at birth for thinking that up.
I just dont get these groups people!? theyre so fucking awful and they genuinely make me lose faith in humanity because I am part of a race that thinks of these things. I’m not clever by any stretch of the imagination but fuck your life if you join them because you have stamped across your head the mark of a cuntslug. and if you make statuses abotu groups you have seen that compare to your relationship life/ love life then prepare to be hunted down with a nailed up plank.
yeah I have hardly been on here over Christmas as I thought it only right to enjoy my family and presents while it lasted! granted my presents are still entertaining me and I’d just like to say OMFG I HAVE A GAY FISH T SHIRT. Emma gets all credit for buying me that what a tank <3 and its nice I’m chuffed with the quality! and also I now have Kinect which is fantastic and i’d recommend to anyone! however it is quite weird the way you can speak to it and it does things, still haven’t got over that yet. my next grinds my gears will be on Facebook like pages as I have spent too many nights on Xbox live whining about them to Joe and not enough time putting sed whining into rant speak. cheers and good night.
doctor Who it has gotta be done hasn’t it! every year! even though half the time its just them bringing the Daleks out of the frigging store cupboard because BBCs budget was dying but it looks to have been revitalised this season. Yeah its Doctor Who I like it fuck off if you don’t. BUT! and this is a big but that does not lie even though other brothers may deny; TORCHWOOD is better. its more adult more cool and just better entertainment :/ sorry doctor
Top gear Christmas special! I have no doubt that this will be fantastic and that afterwards there will be many conversations on xbox live about how class it was afterwards and how we all want to go to Iraq now. that is definitely going to happen that is where I want to go when I have finished school.
Shrek 3. watched Shrek 1 today and was reminded of its brilliance so now I am motivate to watch the whole series so I’ll watch Shrek 2 tomorrow and Shrek 3 on friday! I noticed whilst watching it today how original the way its made, It’s not just a cartoon with funny elements it pokes fun at modern society and fairy tales in very creative ways and I love it!
Royal Family Christmas special has been rumours and quite frankly wow if it is. the Nana special they did a few years back was brilliant but one of the saddest programmes Ive watched, was in bits after it!
Can’t think of anymore please tell me if there are good shows on I’m getting back into tv now! AND WHY ARE BRITAIN A SEASON BEHIND AMERICA WITH AMERICAN DAD AND FAMILY GUY! trust me the new christmas specials are amazing especially American dads! And I’m the only one thats seen them on time because I watch it illegally
If I could quit Facebook I really would love to. But I just can’t for the simple reason that through all this mind numbing shit that is displayed infront of my eyes most hours a day there is occasionally something social brought to my attention because of it.
It’s such a boring website yet you sit there for hours upon hours reading these absolute dumbass fucknuggets stupid little habits and it passes the hours! how!? how does it do that! its incredible! Me and Joe laugh and cry daily and on some days hourly at some of these drooling idiots antics and decisions yet cannot for the life of us decipher what theirthought process was behind doing that action. I saw someone like a group called this the other day:
"Boy: Girl ur hot
Girl: No Im not
Boy Yes u are”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! is it really worth stretching that finger muscle? really? how can that go through your mind when you read that page for you to think that expresses my feelings accurately.
then we have people who don’t spell at all properly! and like things they have done themselves? why do it.
then we have people who actually copy facebook groups and make statuses about them? why do it.
then we have people coming up with endless pictures of them and one other bored friend pulling funny faces at a Laptop that was bought “because I needed it for homework” why do it.
I could go on for hours but the only thing left to express my feelings about is Facebook themselves. STOP CHANGING THE FUCKING WEBSITE it is getting worse and worse and worse yet the old problems still remain the same.
cheer the fuck up people! (yeah I know, I’m saying that)
stop complaining about the snow! its amazing! and yes it ruins plans but fuck it only comes once a year and were lucky enough to have it at Christmas time as well so enjoy! I couldn’t go to a party last night and was gutted but ah well its Christmas! I’m actually looking forward to this one! half of you are complaining about not being able to get into town to buy Christmas presents. heres a quick thought. Why didn’t you buy them presents at a more reasonable time of the year before the rush started and when you had the chance to buy a present with care and thought instead of haste and rashness.
You all complain about us never getting snow an how winters going to be amazing but then you get back to facebook and get all moody over it! its one of the first white Christmas’s we will see in Newport so enjoy it!
and also can I say how good the quality of TV on offer is at christmas time. I’d rather be out in the snow but obviously at this time and with my cold it’s a fucking good second option!
TalkTalk will be the death of me I am stating now. About 4 months ago they were tiscali and everything was fine, dandy and Internet was my heaven. I am an illegal streaming fiend. I GET OFF ON BEING ABLE TO WATCH TV ILLEGALLY. and due to unlimited downloads and superfast beautiful internet speeds I could do that. It was the perfect relaxant being able to sit down and enjoy some nice illegal episodes of south park, family guy and many other timeless classics. BUT THEN THAT SLUTCUNT FROM TISCALI WALKED INTO HIS BASTARD FOREIGN CALL CENTRE ONE DAY, SAT AT HIS CHAIR FLICKED THROUGHH IS CONTACT LIST AND HIS DICK SHAPED FINGER PATTERN SLAPPED RIGHT UPON MY NAME, TYPED IN 11 DIGITS AND RUINED MY INTERNET IN ONE FOUL PHONE CONVERSATION.
He and his bastard company have decided to rename themselves from tiscali to talktalk and with that make some minor and extremely cockish decisions which 4 months down the line mean I have a router huddled up in the corner of his desk space with his wire between his legs crying as Dadda Kris reaches for the baseball bat one more time.. ITS NOT THE ROUTERS FAULT THAT YOU’RE SO SHIT THOUGH IS IT TALKTALK you blasphemy spreading, slow, small usage RANGLERS, But he is part of the talktalk alliance and must be dealt with because you TALKTALK are a traitor to the unlimited yet now tainted legacy that Tiscali left behind. now unless you would like me to call upon my contacts in south east asia to supply me with a desert eagle some cool shades and a golf buggey in which to drive through your window at bruised neck speeds screaming inanely you will give me back my unlimited Gb usage, Take your 40GB a month usage and CRAM IT SO FAR UP YOUR JAPSEYE IT SPLITS THE SKIN AND PUSHES YOUR COLON OUT OF YOUR RIM.
FUCK YOU TALKTALK AND FUCK YOU ROUTER YOU WHORECUNT PIECE OF SHIT
there was a conspiracy plot to steal my beloved baby yesterday, If he had suffered any undue stress there wouldve been punches thrown. thasnkfully he is tucked up in his box back at home now <3 bless him
this fucking number game thing on facebook, yeah I know im doing this off the top off my head and at the height of my rage but big whoop wanna fight about it? please dont say yes. now not only is this number thing confusing but its pointless! YOU ARE LIKING THE FUCKING STATUSEs AFTER THEY HAVE POSTED IT ANYWAY SO EVERYONE KNOWS IT WAS ABOUT YOU! :@
I have a real problem with kissarsing, its just the worst instead of speaking up to people and loving them cant we all just speak equal? and if you take part in these statuses you look like just as much of a cunt as they do for doing it. IT DEFIES LOGIC AND MY GRUMPY GENE WILL NOT LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY! FUCK YOUR LIVES I DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY THOUSANDS OF WHORES YOU THINK ARE PRETTY WHEN MOST LIKELY YOU BITCH BEHIND THEIR BACK. and also take your dreaded maths blasthemy back to twitter or wherever its from. before I shove that fucking green bird between your retinas until it merges with your optic nerve and starts sending convulsing messages to your colon causing you to dump your pants in a sweet brown mud.
nice to be back tumblr I have missed seeing the bold red prickish statement that identifies my blog. can’t be arsed to bitch about the lack of tumblr page yesterday though because its sorted now and quite frankly even I can’t stretch one webstie malfunction into 3 pages worth of angry text speak.
NOW! It is time to rip the shit into one of my most hated, most despised place that I have had the displeasure of residing in. Grimsby! this place is the single reason why I dispute anyone calling Wales a rubbish place to live. fair enough there are parts but I am talking about Caerleon in this instance as obviously not everyone wants to live in Methyr’s industrial estate.
But before you complain about how Caerleon is so crap trylive in Grimsby for the early stages of your childhood. ONE OF M EARLIEST MEMORIES AND I AM BEING DEADLY SERIOUS NOW IS ME CRAWLING AROUND MY LIVING ROOM AT MY OLD HOUSE ON HUMBERSTONE ROAD LOOKING FOR A BULLET. yes a bullet. the night before there were some drunk teenagers in the once beautiful park opposite our house who had decided that once they had carved a sufficient amount of veiny dicks into trees, ripped out enough swings and poured enough pepsi down the slide to rename it mudfall.children that they would take that gun they just so casually carry around in their pockets (because that is way we roll in Grimsby) and R kelly style wave it aimlessly around in the air shouting obscenities whilst firing this motherfucker randomly! and yes ladies and gentlemenyou guessed it one of those bullets cruised straight through my living room window.
We had frequent attempted robberies on our house which while occuring frequently were only successful once due to my dog Tim being an absolute animal, literally, at defending his family. At two in the morning my mum woke up to the garden gate rattling, looked out her window onto the garden and saw two gaunt looking fucknuggets in black hoodies creeping up the path, and so Tim was let into the garden several screams were heard a gate was hurdled once, twice, three times the lady and Tim returned promptly at 7 in the morning with blood round his mouth and a piece of jogging bottom clasped tightly between his jaws. MERKED.
By the way we phoned the police about the bullet through our window but while they came into our house and looked at the damage they decided not to track down the individuals who did it as and I quote “it would be too hard to track down the individuals and wouldnt be a valuable use of our time” so teenagers with guns are normal walking around? nice.
We also have an extremely bad drug problem in Grimsby as I remember hearing about 1500 canabis farms that had been shut down in six months. WTF it is not even a city! another instance of the police being pure wankstain occured when my grandads friend was observing a heroin deal take place had the police on the phone whilst taking pictures of what was happening and they said sorry we are busy and just hung up on him. now I think there will be a part 2 on this depending on how much I can remember but thanks for reading anyway :)